Kitty Chambliss publishes screening guide for consensually non-monogamous clients

Coach Kitty Chambliss has released a screening guide aimed at helping people in consensually non-monogamous relationships vet therapists before starting treatment. The guide follows research showing many clients feel under-supported, and some leave therapy early after negative experiences.

Why it matters: - Clients in consensually non-monogamous relationships often need therapists who understand relationship structure, not just general counseling skills. - A poor fit can waste time, money and emotional energy, and can push people out of care before the real issue is addressed. - Early screening may help clients find therapists who are affirming, informed and able to stay focused on the problem that brought them in.

What happened: - A study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology surveyed 249 people in consensually non-monogamous relationships in the United States and Canada. - Roughly one in five respondents said their therapist lacked the basic knowledge needed to be effective, or that they had to keep educating the therapist themselves. - The researchers found that a client's perception of inappropriate practice predicted whether they ended the therapeutic relationship early. - Kitty Chambliss, who has coached people in open and consensually non-monogamous relationships since 2015, released a screening guide for prospective clients. - Chambliss said she hears frequent reports of clients spending early therapy sessions explaining their relationship structure before getting help for the actual issue.

The details: - The study found clients rated therapists as more helpful when those therapists had educated themselves about consensual non-monogamy, held non-judgmental attitudes and were willing to discuss the relationship structure instead of avoiding it. - Nearly half of participants said they deliberately sought out a therapist who was affirming of consensual non-monogamy before starting treatment. - Outcomes were generally worse for participants who did not screen for an affirming therapist first. - Chambliss recommends asking therapists four direct questions: whether they have worked with open or consensually non-monogamous clients before, how much training they have had, whether they can leave the relationship structure alone if it is not the reason for treatment, and what they would do if they struggled with the topic. - Chambliss said the final question is especially useful because a good clinician will answer honestly, including by saying they would refer the client elsewhere if needed.

Between the lines: - Chambliss argues the core problem is usually not hostility toward consensual non-monogamy. - Her view is that many therapists were never taught how to work with these clients, and there has not been an obvious path to learn. - That gap can turn therapy into an education session for the client instead of a treatment session focused on healing. - Chambliss also draws a clear line between coaching and therapy, saying coaching focuses on skills and patterns going forward while therapy can address trauma, mental health conditions and the past. - She says people in crisis or dealing with clinical issues should not be steered into coaching.

What's next: - Chambliss says more therapists are starting to learn about consensual non-monogamy, but the change is slow. - Her screening questions are meant to help clients identify competent care sooner while the broader training gap continues to close. - Chambliss founded Loving Without Boundaries in 2012, began coaching in 2015 and continues to publish and speak on relationship issues. - She is the author of "Jealousy Survival Guide: How to Feel Safe, Happy, and Secure in an Open Relationship" and hosts a podcast with more than 290 episodes.

The bottom line: - For clients in consensually non-monogamous relationships, asking a few pointed questions before starting therapy may be the difference between getting help and spending months explaining basic facts about their lives.